A Year Ago Today…

Posted On: Wednesday, July 21st, 2010 at 12:24 am

…We made the craziest decision of our lives!  On July 20, 2009 we sealed our faith, prayers, and hopes in a little envelope, and sent it off in the form of an adoption application.  It’s been a long road from that application to where we are now.  Long–not in the sense of time, so much as in the sense of how far we’ve come.

Last summer I struggled.  True, I had always thought I would have another daughter, but I never thought we would take this path.  (I guess I can’t say “never,” but the thought had entered and left my mind over a decade ago.)  I’m certainly not amazing enough to adopt.  Only Mary-Poppins-perfect people adopt.  It took many weeks for us to know that this really was the plan for our family.  Even after sending in that application, I felt some ambivalence.  With each step in the adoption–each time we signed a paper, wrote a big check–I felt like I had a chance to question our decision all over again, and then decide to recommit (or not).  With a pregnancy you don’t really get a chance to do that.  You make the decision (usually :)) and BAM!  You’re committed.  There’s really no turning back once you see that little pink line on a stick. 🙂

I am delighted to report that I feel absolutely certain now–no doubt that we’re making the right decision for our family and for our new daughter.  No doubt this was meant to be.  And no doubt it will be one the most challenging things we have ever done.  I started this journey with a little “toe dip.”  You know, to test the waters.  After splashing around a bit, deciding the waters felt pretty good,  we dove in and started to swim.  And now we’re in a dead sprint for the finish.   No looking back–no reason to.  Look how far we’ve come!

I can hardly wait to bring our daughter home!  We have loved her from afar, and now I want to love her up close. 🙂  I want to know everything about her–even the things that will be hard for a mother to hear.  I want to take care of her and love her like she’s never been loved before.  Laugh with her and cry with her.  Teach her everything she needs to know to be happy in life.  I want to see her playing and learning and loving and growing with her family.  I want to show her how much she is loved and wanted and needed.  I want to show her that we are her family–now and forever.

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3 Responses to “A Year Ago Today…”

  1. melissa davis says:

    This was a wonderful post Jill! You brought tears to my eyes! I can’t wait for you guys either.

  2. Bronwyn Brown says:

    Wow, that is neat!

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