The “rest of the story”

Posted On: Friday, February 19th, 2010 at 6:00 pm

I was just rereading some of my first entries, and isn’t it just like me, I totally forgot to finish writing why we’re on this journey at all!  (See July 21 and 22, 2009 for the first part of our story.)  Where was I…

So I researched and cried for hours that night, finally went to bed when I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.  After  my initial research I realized that it wasn’t something we’d be able to do—too expensive, we’re not good enough parents as it is…etc.  I told Todd about the Petersons pictures in the morning.  His response was sarcastic.  “Are you saying we should adopt??” Me, “No, no, no.  Definitely not.”  Todd, “Good, because that just wouldn’t make any sense.”  Well, I tried to push it out of my mind for the next TWO WEEKS.  A day or two would go by, and I would research one more thing, look at a few more pictures, would mention something about it to Todd, get another “that’s crazy” kind of response, would promise myself (again) that  I wouldn’t read anything else about adoption.  And why not?  Because it WAS a crazy idea.

And then one day I was doing some housework and Kaylee Ann was telling me one of her stories.  (She does this often.)  I was only half-listening (bad mommy) until she said… “Mommy, see these dolls?  This one is the mother.  And this one is the little girl she adopted from China.”  “Uhh…what did you say??”  She repeated it to me and went on her merry way.  Mind you, I had been VERY careful not to let the kids see anything, hear anything about adoption.  I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea and think that we were going to do it.

So…I mentioned the incident to Todd when he came home from work.  He wasn’t as surprised by her comments as I was.  “Yeah, well that’s just because she’s seen you looking at all this adoption stuff.”  “No, actually.  She hasn’t seen a thing.”  Then the conversation got very interesting.  Todd began feeling defensive.  “Are you saying we should adopt??  Are you trying to pressure me into something?”

“No, I just…”   and then came the tears.  Lots of them.  I didn’t plan that, but they helped.  Todd’s demeanor softened immediately.  He hugged me and said, “I’m so sorry.  I didn’t know you felt so strongly about this.”  And then I blubbered, “I didn’t know either.”

To make a long story short, we made it a matter of prayer and here we are, 7 months into this process.  Every day I feel more confident in that decision.  There is absolutely no way we could have ever done this without knowing it’s the right thing for our family.

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