Archive for August, 2012

First Tears

Saturday, August 11th, 2012

I haven’t posted since we’ve been home, so I have some catching up to do!  If anyone is wondering, Matthew is doing fabulously!!! :)


Except we had our first tears last night just before dinner.  Matthew was playing the Wii with one of his (unnamed) brothers.  This certain brother had been playing for a long time trying to beat a certain level.  Well, Matthew pushed the wrong button at the end of the level, and this certain brother (who tends to get easily frustrated at things) started crying and yelling at him.  The other siblings all know this brother’s issue with frustration, but poor Matthew did not.  So he was being yelled at, in a language he couldn’t understand, by a little brother that had loved him just minutes before.  And he just sat there and took it until Todd intervened and whisked the brother away–still crying and yelling–to his room.

It was so sad.  He didn’t sob or anything, but there were tears in his eyes, and he obviously felt HORRIBLE.  He knew he had done something terrible and his little brother was really upset about it.  He sat down for dinner and didn’t say a word, wouldn’t look at anyone.  Todd was still talking to the brother, but as soon as he finished, I brought Matthew into our room to talk with both of us.  Our happy, talkative boy was no where to be found.  We tried to explain that the problem was not his, but his brother’s.  He’d done nothing wrong.  We told him his brother would be fine tomorrow.  We told him we loved him, we weren’t upset with him.  We hugged him.  We held him.  Loved him some more.  And he sat staring straight ahead, tears in his eyes, sniffling.  He said nothing.  We asked if we could do anything, if he wanted us to leave the room, if he wanted us to stay.  No answer.

Poor, sweet boy.  If he didn’t care so much about others it wouldn’t have been a big deal.  But he does care, a lot.  He is incredibly thoughtful and has a tendency to put everyone’s wants above his own.  He is sensitive to those around him and how others are feeling.  I can’t imagine him ever doing something to intentionally upset someone, so knowing he upset his brother was a lot for him to deal with.

We finally decided to explain a little more about why his brother reacted the way he did, his brother’s “issues,” and that helped.  His brother also came in and apologized after a little while.  He began talking again and smiling, although he never did discuss his feelings about the incident.

This morning Matthew was the first to wander into our room.  He climbed onto our bed and began chatting with us. “The brother” wandered in next, about 5 minutes later.  They smiled at each other and were laughing and playing moments later.  A new day.  All is well.